Update on the Housing thing

3rd try on this post...blogger's eaten this 2x. First time I hit "Publish Post" and it vanished. So the 2nd time I get smart and try "Save as Draft." *poof* (sigh) Is it just me, or has blogger become incredibly unstable since they started the Beta work on the improvements? (and I don't even have 'em!)

Anyway, what I've been wanting to say:

First, I want to thank everyone who's emailed, IM'd, commented or whatever their expressions of concern and well-wishes about our housing situation in the last 24 hrs. Particularly from TBOB and Gerald who really don't know me from Adam. I trust that things will work out well, and I know that the Lord knows what He's doing. It's just going to be a real pain in the, ah, upper-thigh that I really didn't need. Thanks,
folks.

Secondly, just talked to the realtor who'll be handling things. First she started off by apologizing for disrupting our lives. Which, while it was fairly meaningless gesture, is nice. She repeatedly assured me that there was no need to worry about moving right away. Then she listed a number of my rights during the selling/showing phase (even if it wasn't the law, the owners are such swell folk that they'd do it anyway...so I hear). She's letting us set the appointments for showing--phew! Could just see people demanding to see the house during Hebrew class [shudder]. She also said that the marked around here has really slowed down over the last couple of months, and doesn't sound like she's planning on chalking up a sale anytime soon.

The last 2 places we lived in have also been on the market multiple times while we lived in them. None of those were pleasant experiences. I've been lied to, bullied, slandered (one man claimed I grabbed his arm and threatened him--LOL), ignored, and other things I can't think of at the moment. This lady sounds like she'll be good to work with (and even laughed at a couple of my jokes).

Not the same thing as feeling secure about having a place to hang your hat, but it'll do for now.

Snicker, snicker

Today's Boondocks hit the spot. Fellow Homeschoolers, in particular, will chuckle.

I'm looking forward to the end of Aaron McGruder’s sabbatical, but since I'm too cheap to buy comic anthologies anymore, am really enjoying these old strips that are running right now.

Funny how things can change so quickly...

Was having a good day, read some, played a little, studied/did homework (am actually ready not just for tomorrow's quiz, but next Tuesday's), noted that the yanks won this afternoon, was watching a lil' TV with the kids to relax....

and then, the phone rings.

It's Property Manager--yay! Been meaning to call her for a couple weeks now. Time for a new lease. Whoops, not so fast--the owners are selling the place. Sign should go up sometime this week. We'll have 30 days from the time the place sells--she assures me the market's slowed down some, so shouldn't worry too much. But I've seen too many houses sell über-fast around the neighborhood over the last couple of years. Hopefully she closes a deal on another property to manage soon so we can just move in there and make life easier.

sooo, here's our to-do list:

1. Got to get the house ready to show (plus class, plus baseball practice for the kids, plus work, plus church)
2. Figure out where we're going to live once this place sells (or before...)
3. Move

Humbug.

Return of Godzilla Watch 2

from Yankees.com:

Hideki Matsui was cleared to take full batting practice for the first time on Tuesday, a big step in his hopeful return to the Yankees' lineup this season. Matsui is scheduled to hit indoors on Wednesday.

Matsui had no problems with soft-toss hitting drills on Sunday, but he hasn't taken live batting practice yet. The Yankees originally thought Matsui wouldn't be ready until some time later this week.

"In terms of being pain free, that's something I definitely feel good about and very satisfied," Matsui said through his interpreter. "I'm still working on my mechanics and things like that."

The story goes on to say, "Matsui said he's still conscious of his left wrist when he swings," uhhh, ya think?

"We can probably DH him at some point," Torre said. "I think that's the safest thing for him to do, as opposed to have him dive for a ball in the outfield."

And that's why he's a legend, folks. Torre doesn't want to put the man in the outfield right away. Sorry for the sarcasm, I'm sure the question that elicited that response was pretty dumb.

In other injury news...did anyone else see that hit that Seattle's Soriano took last night? Ow. Ow. Ow. Can't imagine that Guerrero slept well last night.

Last baseball thing for now: Vocabulary Lesson: Pavano. One of the funniest things I've read in days.

Uhhhh....

Someone hung on to a tape of this? Worse, that someone took the trouble to put it on their hard drive?

Everytime I begin to have a glimmer of hope for this country...

Request for Help

Why've I been so quiet lately? Working on a couple of projects (including start of the semester).

If there's anyone out there who knows their way around WordPress (and I mean really knows their way, not just used it). Please, Puh-leez, get in touch with me. I'm on the verge of hurting myself working on a project...

Return of Godzilla Watch

Newsday reports:

Hideki Matsui stepped up his rehab yesterday, taking 25 swings at soft tosses. "No problems," he said. He is expected to begin taking batting practice sometime this week, perhaps putting him in line to play in a minor-league rehab game by the weekend.

(H/T: Replacement Level Yankees)

Amens

• Samuel Miller on Confessional Integrity from Confessional Presbyterianism
• Carl Trueman's latest Wages of Spin from Reformation21
• What should move God to love us? from Kerugma
• Boston On the Importance of Obedience from Patrick's Pensees

Illegal "Immigration" News

This promising headline from AP: U.S. ends 'catch-and-release' at border

Nearly all non-Mexican illegal immigrants caught sneaking into the United States are being held until they can be returned to their home countries, the Bush administration said Wednesday.

In it's coverage of the announcement, WND notes:

Chertoff told the Senate in October "a non-Mexican illegal immigrant caught trying to enter the United States across the southwest border has an 80 percent chance of being released immediately because we lack the holding facilities."

But the agency, through a "comprehensive approach, was moving to end this 'catch and release' style of border enforcement by reengineering our detention and removal process," he said.

Nevertheless, Chertoff has been pessimistic toward calls to deport illegals who have been living and working in the country for some time.

WND also quoted from an email to Kathryn Jean Lopez (of National Review Online) from a Heritage Foundation immigration expert, with this imporant observation:

If true, this is an important advancement in deterring illegal immigration. However, something still needs to be done about the catching and releasing of Mexican Illegal immigrants—the majority of all illegal immigrants.

(off topic, NRO's The Corner yesterday had some interesting posts about politics and Firefly/Serenity).

That same Heritage expert writes a very thoughtful paper: Building a Better Border: What the Experts Say

And along those lines...how twisted it this?

On a misty, moonless night, the group scurried down the canyon wall, their feet slipping in the ankle-high mud. The sirens grew louder as their guide, clad in a ski mask and known only as Poncho, urged them to run faster. "Hurry up! The Border Patrol is coming!"

A couple in matching designer tennis outfits loped awkwardly along, the boyfriend clutching a digital video camera and struggling to keep the pop-out screen steady.

The 20 or so people fleeing the fictional Border Patrol weren't undocumented immigrants; they were tourists about 700 miles from the border. Most are well-heeled professionals more likely to travel to the United States in an airplane than on foot.

They've each paid 150 pesos — about $15 — for what is perhaps Mexico's strangest tourist attraction: a night as an illegal immigrant crossing the Rio Grande.

Advertising for the mock journey, which takes place at a nature park in the central state of Hidalgo, tells the pretend immigrants to "Make fun of the Border Patrol!" and to "Cross the Border as an Extreme Sport!"

Prickly City

It's like Calvin & Hobbes + Doonesbury + the politics of Mallard Fillmore...but, y'know, funny). If you're not reading, you might want to consider adding it to your list. Today's strip is a good example.

btw, yeah, I'm in class right now. But he's going over the syllabus. I'm not being lazy already. Multitasking. (and do note the light nature of this post)

Silly Songs with Hob

And now it's time for Silly Songs with Hob, the part of the blog where Hob comes out and radio.blogs a Silly Song. So without further ado, Silly Songs with Hob.

Grace Under Fire

At first glance, your reaction is likely, "Does he do anything but take pictures of his daughter's ear???"

Not lately, honestly. But you will note that this week, we're not focusing on ornamentation, but injury.




This afternoon, the Princess somehow fell over onto a printer cart while trying to get a toy--there may have been running involved--conflicting and confused witness reports and fear of self-incrimination make this foggy. This fall resulted in a nasty gash, torn cartilage (which looks really gross, btw), more blood than her daddy ever wants to see pooling (yes, pooling) in her ear, and 6-7 stitches. Very few tears. Quite the stiff upper lip. She handled the whole experience with poise and grace. Which is good, 'cuz one of us should've.

More and More Gandhi sounds right

Legend tells us (as I understand, the actual documentation on this is shaky) that someone asked Mahatma Gandhi, "What is your opinion of Western civilization?" Gandhi promptly replies, "I think it would be a good idea."

So do I.

La Shawn Barber writes today,

Michael Skube, a journalism professor at Elon University in Elon, NC, reports that some of his students think that Dan Brown, author of The Da Vinci Code, is a great writer. Relatively speaking, the book is a good read. Brown does all the formulaic stuff that keeps you turning the pages. But a great writer compared toÂ?William Faulkner? According to Skube, Brown "was the only writer they could think of."

Yikes.

Skube says that words like impetus, ramshackle, lucid, advocate, derelict, satire (no English lit classes in high school?), and afflict stumped his private university students, the same ones who graduated from high school with grade point averages of 3.5 and higher.

(be sure to read her whole post, and pretty much every post she makes)

Brown a "great" writer? I need a new dictionary, 'cuz mine apparently has a misprint under "great." Worse yet, Brown the only writer they could think of?

Jane! Stop this crazy thing!

Boston Massacre '06

with apologies to Scribbler, Julie, and Patrick; and a high-five to Frodo, Samwise and Norris.

Well, wasn't that a fun little series? There are many ways to put it, but I'll let MSNBC commentator, Mike Celizic, do it for me, in his column Yankees are best team in baseball now, he states:

A team that looked last spring as if it wouldn't get through the season has become what its owner insists it be — the best team in baseball. The starting pitching is adequate, the middle relief pretty darned good and the closer still the best in the business. A potent starting line-up has been turned into an opposing pitcher’s nightmare with the addition of Bobby Abreu, who, as The Boston Globe’s Bob Ryan said, seems as if he were born on first base, at the trade deadline.

It has survived injury, resisted the ravages of father time and never caved in to the adversity it has faced. Its manager, Joe Torre, has his share of critics, but when the smoke finally cleared in Fenway, you could argue that this year the imperturbable manager has done his greatest job of managing ever, and that includes the four-titles-in-five-years run of 1996-2000.

Like those old Yankee teams, this one beats you whichever way it has to.

Quick recap for those who might not have watched/read a sports report lately:

Friday afternoon:12-4
Friday evening:14-11
Saturday afternoon: 13-5
(that's 3 games in 28 hours, including the longest 9-inning game in MLB history Saturday night)
Sunday evening:8-5 (in the 10th)
Monday afternoon: 2-0

That's 49-25 for the series. Thank you Boston relievers!

New York is up by 6.5 games in the AL-East. I think that's a 10.5 game change since the All-Star Break. 10.5 Games, baby. Steve Lombardi runs the numbers:

From here, if the Yankees just play .500 baseball over the rest of the season, the Red Sox need to play nearly .700 baseball (.698 actually) to beat New York.

Should note that Lombardi also provided a wonderful rundown of Red Sox blogs this morning reacting to the series at that point. My favorite was this one.

Guess now would be a good time to retract this post. Hate to do it, but. It's the right thing to do. Go Johnny! This series? 2 homers, 3 doubles, 1 triple and eight RBIs and hitting .435 (10-for-26). Sadly, think the Yankee fans will embrace him far faster than A-Rod.

Jeter solidified his run for a MVP award this weekend. Giambi did what he does best (whack the ball and make fields flubs). Poor Scott Proctor worked his arm off. Hope he's not needed in Seattle. A-Rod did some quality defense, and some less-than quality. Jorge showed he's still got some power. Abreu, Melky, Robbie...love you guys! And Mariano, ahhh, Mariano. As Moose put it: "You know, I don't think there's anything to say...That's what he does and that's why he's the best that's ever been and I'm glad he's on our side."

Curse of the Bambino? We don't need no steenkin' curse.

Piece of History: Where's this title come from?

ADHD?

Someone inspired me to go with a "70's Rock" soundtrack this morning. And, as I'm oft want to do, from time to time I call one/all of the kids over for a moment of (pop) cultural literacy education. Last week, for example, before I posted this, I had my kids watch the original on youtube. Frodo and Samwise should be able to tell you that Clapton is one of the greatest guitar players in the universe (granted, they can't identify anything by him, but you gotta start somewhere). They know what color of submarine we all live in. And so on. There's many things vital to get by in this life that you just can't learn from schoolbooks.

So today, I call the lads over to get a little exposure to Skynyrd. Lesson for the day: "Freebird" is too long for the attention spans of 7 and 6 year olds.

Wow, that looked so much better on paper

This from the slice of life file, with no particular punchline/"You See, Timmy" moment/conclusion

With the new job, my schedule is a little different than it was a few months ago (in that I actually have one). This has bade it impossible for us to do our family worship with any consistency. Which is a problem. So the Mrs. and I put our heads together last week and tried to figure out what to do. It was fairly obvious really, but (frankly( I didn't want to go for it, see right now, there's only one time of the day when we both were home--neither at work or on the way to work.

(For those at home keeping their Sanctification Scorecards^®, I do realize you now have to erase whatever points you'd given us for doing family worship because my wife works outside the home. Sorry for the inconvenience.)

So this morning around the table we had quite the motley crew. Arnold was quite awake, but looked confused, because those books are for after dinner. The Princess is unrepentant morning person, perfectly content and happy to be their. Samwise was physically present, his eyes were doing their best not to roll back, and coherent thought was a couple steps beyond him. Frodo was dutifully there, but you could tell from his eyes that it was a major stress on duty that explained his presence. Me? Well, Sam gets it from somewhere. The Mrs, of course, was bright-eyed and ready to go (and probably secretly enjoying seeing Sam and I in this state). We managed to stumble our way through it, and by the end, even the elder males were fully alert and participating.

What is it, 21 days to create a habit? 20 long ones to go...

RBP's blogging

Few weeks ago, Robert B. Parker started one of those amazon.com blog's at the behest of his publisher. Well, his publisher has (finally!) gotten around to getting an official website for the man, and his own (read: non-amazon) blog.

Parker isn't the writer he used to be, I'm afraid (but he still has his moments). One day, when I'm stuck for something to write, and am in a more self-revelatory mood, I might unpack this, but I'm sure it's safe to say that be I wouldn't be the reader/would-be author/person I am today if not for Dr. Parker.

That's not necessarily a good thing.

But it is what it is. We must deal with things the way they are. Not what we'd like them to be.

So, go ahead, give him a click, see what happens.

You'd be fools not to.

It's Gonna Be One of Those Days

First thing I read this morning is Julie's blog, where I learn that the greatest writer/artist/title combo since Marv Wolfman/George Pérez/New Teen Titans is breaking up in a few months. That's right, true believers, Mark Bagley is leaving Ultimate Spider-Man with #110. Ugh. #99 ships tomorrow, so I do have a little while longer to enjoy the magic. Now that I think of it, Wolfman/Pérez got me into comics as a kid, Bendis/Bagley brought me back. Not sure what that means, it just struck me. Silver lining: Bendis is sticking around. Not sure the ticker could've taken him leaving.

And, can't forget that after dropping 2 out of 3 to the Orioles, the Yankees head to Boston for a 5 game series with a meager 1.5 game lead. Today features a double-header, and in Game 2 Sidney Ponson will be throwing a mini-home run derby to Papi and Manny starting. Silver lining: I can watch Wang do his thing at 11 am MDST on ESPN, and it doesn't look like Ponson will be on the tube here.

Man, I need some coffee...

Flight Deck Video

You've likely seen this kind of thing before--I have ('tho most I've seen lately have been from much drier locales). But this was made by a son of one of my wife's co-workers so his family could see what he does (not sure he appears in the video, but his crewmates do). Just wanted to pass this along.

Thanks for your service, Jace.

There's no time to change your mind...

For all those who suffered through LaHaye & Jenkins, this might provide a little cathartic release.

(H/T: bluewoad)

BTW, ever since Monday, my comment count hasn't been working (at least as far as I can see)--just because it says, "0 comments" doesn't mean anyone hasn't opined.

Is this the little girl I carried?

(she actually is smiling, just can't tell from this angle)

Last night the Princess was taken by her Mommy, Grammy, Aunt and Cousin to get her ears pierced. (sigh) If I'm not careful, she'll be bringing some punk home to meet me soon.

In Memoriam

"Sir, in my heart, I know I'm funny."

Bruno Kirby died Monday at the age 57 from leukemia-related complications. Never a major star, but Kirby could be counted on to deliver a great performance--comedic or dramatic.

(yes, I know that the picture is from City Slickers and the quote is from Good Morning, Vietnam ... just my two favorite roles by him)

He'll Get By, with a Little Help from My Friends

Folks, need a favor here. Frodo's going to be working on a paper for school in the next few weeks, and he's having trouble coming up with a topic. Can be anything. The point is to get the 3rd grader to research and write. Can ya help the lil' dude?

(clarified after SpideyGeek points out that not all of you are looking at my lesson plans, and then further clarified after SpideyGeek and bluewoad point out that not all of you know what grade he's in)

Start the Week with a Laugh

The Marriage of 2 Geek Favorites:

If you liked that, be sure to also try this.

This seems appropriate after this last post

Meant to post this last week, but I forgotten. But the timing is better as a follow-up to the post about the Sproul sermon. Pastor Jerrold Lewis of the Free Reformed Church asks: The On-line Sermon- A Blessing?

Put down the heavy and sharp things

oh, and anything you could throw. Drink some hot tea (or whatever calms you), and then give a listen to this sermon by Jonathan Modene of Maumee Valley Bible Baptist Church in Toledo, OH. It's called, "Strange Fire: The Faith of R.C. Sproul" from Leviticus 9-10:2. What? You don't see Dr. Sproul's name anywhere in the Bible? Maybe you're reading something other than a New Geneva/Reformation Study Bible. No? Hmmm.

Well, let me help you a bit...clearly, R. C. Sproul is the 21st century version of Nadab and Abihu. Yup. That's right. It has something to do with the whole Columbo-vibe he gives off, I'm sure of it.

Now, if you've made it for more than 5 minutes of this, give yourself a pat on the back. If you've made it further...wow, I'm sorry. But I bet you have a whole new respect for your pastor's abilities now, right? Here's your reward, Dr. James White was sent this sermon (please don't tell me you thought I found this by myself) and started reviewing it on the latest installment of The Dividing Line (8/10/06). Give it a listen, it'll help ease the pain.

The Sabbath is a Relic of Paradise and Type of Heaven

The first Sabbath dawned on the bowers of a sinless paradise. When Adam was created in the image of his Maker, he was put into the garden to dress it and to keep it. No doubt this called forth all his energies. To train the luxuriant vine, to gather the fruit of the fig-tree and palm, to conduct the water to the fruit-trees and flowers, required all his time and all his skill. Man was never made to be idle. Still when the Sabbath-day came round, his rural implements were all laid aside; the garden no longer was his care. His calm, pure mind looked beyond things seen into the world of eternal realities. He walked with God in the garden, seeking deeper knowledge of Jehovah and His ways, his heart burning more and more with holy love, and his lips overflowing with seraphic praise. Even in Paradise man needed a Sabbath. Without it Eden itself would have been incomplete. How little they know the joys of Eden, the delight of a close and holy walk with God, who would wrest from Scotland this relic of a sinless world! It is also the type of heaven. When a believer lays aside his pen or loom, brushes aside his worldly cares, leaving them behind him with his week-day clothes, and comes up to the and comes up to the house of God, it is like the morning of the resurrection, the day when we shall come out of great tribulation into the presence of God and the Lamb. When he sits under the preached word, and hears the voice of the shepherd leading and feeding his soul, it reminds him of the day when the Lamb that is in the midst of the throne shall feed him and lead him to living fountains of waters. When he joins in the psalm of praise, it reminds him of the day when his hands shall strike the harp of God- Where congregations ne'er break up, And Sabbaths have no end.

When he retires, and meets with God in secret in his closet, or, like Isaac, in some favourite spot near his dwelling, it reminds him of the day when "he shall be a pillar in the house of our God, and go no more out." This is the reason why we love the Lord's day. This is the reason why we "call the Sabbath a delight" A well-spent Sabbath we feel to be a day of heaven upon earth. For this reason we wish our Sabbaths to he wholly given to God. We love to spend the whole time in the public and private exercises of God's worship, except so much as is taken up in the works A necessity and mercy. We love to rise early on that morning, and to sit up late, that we may have a long day with God. How many may know from this that they will never be in heaven! A straw on the surface can tell which way the stream is flowing. Do you abhor a holy Sabbath? Is it a kind of hell to you to be with those who are strict in keeping the Lord's day? The writer of these lines once felt as you do. You are restless and uneasy. You say, "Behold what a weariness is it" "When will the Sabbath be gone, that we may sell corn?" Ah! soon, very soon, and you will be in hell. Hell is the only place for you. Heaven is one long, never-ending, holy Sabbath-day. There are no Sabbaths in hell.

- Robert Murray M'Cheyne

Fringe Benefit: RV

The other day I'm watching a commercial for the movie "The Night Listener," and was trying to remember when it was that Robin Williams made the jump from funny guy who occasionally makes a sappy film to convince everyone he can act to focusing on films about psycho serial killers and related freaks. I honestly couldn't remember what the last funny movie I saw with him.

So last night when I saw RV on the "Pre-Street" pile for employees to rent, I figured I'd give it a shot. Williams, Cheryl Hines...directed by Barry Sonnenfeld. Has to be funny, right?

Wrong.

Very wrong.

Sure, there were a couple of moments that I found amusing. But overall? Sorry, National Lampoon's Vacation 4 RV just didn't get the job done.

Hines did the best she could with what she was given. Jeff Daniels and Kristin Chenoweth did an admirable job as Randy Quaid and Miriam Flynn (should note in passing that it was an overall positive portrayal of homeschoolers/homeschool kids). Williams was a little off his game, but it all can't be put on him. Bad script. Predictable and dumb plot. Just fell flat.

We've seen it all before and performed better. Save your $$ and go for something else. (just don't tell my Store Director I told you that)

It's too early to really get excited about this, but

Red Sox are 3 games behind New York (despite Mo blowing his 3rd save of the year to the White Sox on Tuesday). They've lost 2 in a row to the Royals. One more time, let's say it together: 2 in a row to the Royals. I doubt it'd happen, but if Schilling loses tonight, I will celebrate. Now, sure, the Royals owned the Yankees last year, so it's not a certain harbinger of self-destruction or anything. It's just good for the ol' schadenfreude.

Apparently Red Sox fans are freaking out over this--as are some sports writers. Calling the season a gonner, saying the postseason's out of reach. To be fair and balanced, it's probably too early to say that. But there are several indications that this is correct.

Sox just aren't getting it done on the mound. Schilling's having a great year, no denying that. But he can't start every day. The Twins and the White Sox are just playing too well right now to imagine one of them giving up the Wild Card spot. Yankees are coming together at the right time--Robbie's back, Wilson and Abreu are getting the job done.

50 or so games, to go. Anything can happen. But, good to be in the Yankee Universe.

Family Portraits

Daddy	Mommy
Frodo	Samwise
Princess	Arnold

courtesy of Reasonably Clever!
(H/T: Micah)

Something I just don't get...

Why do grown-ups care about their birthdays? Seriously, I'd like someone to explain it to me.

Now, I get kids going crazy about the day.

1. They get toys/etc.
2. They get cake
3. They get to be center of attention
4. Age is pretty much the primary way that people categorize them (like "What do you do for a living?" becomes in your 20's and beyond)

But once you get to, say, 12/13? What's the big deal? There are a couple of ages that are significant, sure. Get to drive--that's a big one. Get to vote/get drafted--like anyone really cares about either any more. And, of course, 21...when you magically become more responsible overnight. But even then--it's the age, not the day.

Yet adults all around me go googily over that day. Most have to make sure everybody knows it's their birthday, just compulsively mentioning it. They'll take the day off work. Buy something for themselves. Get a free meal/dessert at a restaurant. Whatever.

But come on...you're an adult. You can have cake whenever you want to. You can buy trinkets for yourself anytime you go to Wal*Mart. You're supposed to understand that being the center of attention isn't something to shoot for. Seriously, "Oh, everyone celebrate the fact I was born X years ago...make a big deal out of it, because dang it, I'm something to rejoice about."

Don't get me wrong--I'm all for marking anniversaries of accomplishments--marriages, time of service, etc. But your own birth? Seems a bit narcissistic to me. Grow up already.

New Blog

Was about to link this thing, my buddy, TEXpresby's started himself another blog. He describes it as "mostly silly stuff." Anyway, he'd named it "Two at Parbar," for no reason I can discern (other than to be, y'know, silly).

Then, as I'm updating my blogroll over there on the side, in a moment of weakness, TEX says, "do you want to be a co-blogger on my new blog...that way there would actually be TWO of us." I've got 3 now, but figured somewhere in the cosmos, Adrian Monk would find a little comfort in an odd number going to an even. Still, wasn't sure...and then the blog's background music kicked in, and it was a done deal :)

Drop by sometime...hopefully good for a chuckle or two.

Evangelicalism's Unstoppable Ability

Was stuck behind a van this morning at a traffic light with this bumper sticker:

There ain't nuttin' Evangelicals can't make tacky!

That hits the spot

Got home about 13 hours after we left for church this morning--worship, time with family, fellowship with the saints.

Good day. Very good day.

Oh joy, oh rapture unforeseen...

He's back, baby! And he's expanding!

Yippe Ki Yay

In honor of the news of John McClain's impending return, let's all take a moment to look back on our tragic hero's escapades with this moving musical tribute.

Parental Advisory: This clip features lines and language from the films, if that's not your cup of tea, sorry...um...watch this instead (actually pretty funny, should be watched anyway)

(H/T: Alan Sepinwall)

Fringe Benefit: Jersey Girl

Okay, have had precious few shifts at the video store (getting more tho), but am getting there. But am now taking advantage of my primary benefit--free rentals. So, in addition to the ever-popular Summer Reading series, we're going to begin a series called "Fringe Benefit"--me talking about the DVD's I take home for the night.

I'm having a hard time coming up with films to bring home that Scribbles and I can watch together--dunno why--just not seeing anything that jumps off the shelf. So, I'm bringing home flicks that I couldn't justify spending money on before. You know, you have a limited budget, you can afford 1 movie--what do you get? Something you want to watch, or something you can watch with your main squeeze? Easy answer. So I'm left with a long list of stuff I've been wanting to see and haven't.

So, I start with Kevin Smith's much maligned Jersey Girl. This poor movie came out in the shadow of Gigli and featured Beniffer--the "iffer" part of that was only in it for 15 minutes or so. Still didn't save this charming little flick from being savaged by most of the press because it was "Gigli 2" or whatever.

Ben Affleck (who, honestly surprised me in this--best job I've seen from him) is a high profile music publicist, falls head over heals over this gal in the publishing biz. They get hitched, have a kid. Wife dies in childbirth. Dad's life gets turned upside down--moves back home, lives with his dad, gets a blue collar job, and becomes a dad. Daughter turns out to be sweetheart spitfire, they meet a nice girl working in a video store (shock! Smith has a primary character working in a video store!).

Liv Tyler was sweet, and vulnerable; George Carlin was impressive; Steven Root and Mike Starr were as funny as ever; like I said, best Affleck I've ever seen. Great cameo by Will Smith--and Lady bleepin' Aberlin!!?! What a coup for Smith to land her! But it was Raquel Castro that made this thing work. This little nine-year-old nailed it. What a sweetheart!

Not a hilarious comedy. It was touching, tho--call me a sap if you will, but I liked that--love story about a Dad and his Daughter. Relatively clean flick--as Smith notes on a commentary, probably his first movie that'll end up on Cable/Network TV (not just the premium channels). But it's a nice little look at a Dad learning how to be a Dad. Learning how to be an adult son. Making decisions about how to live his life. Not my favorite thing that Smith has done, but I really enjoyed it. Don't go into this expecting a typical Kevin Smith feel--doesn't have it, sorta like Tarantino and Jackie Brown, or the last part of Kill Bill, Vol. 2--it's the same guy, the same skill (for lack of a better word at the moment), but doing something different. I know this movie would've done pretty well if it had come out before Gigli. Alas, it didn't, so it has been (and will be) ignored.

DVD features:
Now, the Smith-Affleck commentary is useless as far as a commentary on the movie itself. Very interesting listening to a conversation between a couple of friends riffing on the press, media coverage of movies, the business of movies, acting with kids, acting with people you're in a relationship with, and so on.

The commentary with Smith and Scott Mosier (producer) with Jason Mewes sitting in as "the voice of the viewer." Gets pretty raunchy from time to time, but a pretty good look at the movie. Appreciated it. Fairly amusing, too.

Roadside Attractions: A collection of bits that Smith did for the tonight show. Amusing, but, eh, it's from the Tonight Show. 'nuff said.

Interview with Affleck and Smith--that was pretty cool, a little review of their friendship (betcha they don't get invited on Oprah to talk about it tho' like Matt & Ben did ).

Behind the scenes--yeah pretty much what you'd figure them to be.

Okay, good movie, decent special features. Grade: B/B+

Listen to 'em, Ma'am!

Let Harry live!

Trade Deadline Day

Actually been wanting to do a Yankee's post for awhile, after hitting that subject a lot in the early part of the season, I've really dried up lately. But now is not the time to really get into it, but I can start.

Before I start, tho'...I'll take a moment to point to Challies' amusing trade post.

Good batch of trade reports. Cashman is clearly in control of things this year. Shawn, you did great last year, but you're just not doing it in '06--enjoy Pittsburgh. Wilson sounds like a plus, Lidle has to help, and Abreu can't hurt. Hope Torre sticks to the plan and doesn't play Bernie over Melky because of it. Little worried about Andy Phillips, too, in all this. But hey...it's a good day to be a Yankee-fan.

Larry Mahnken, over at Replacement Level Yankees summed it up pretty well:

I'm happy. You're hearing a lot of sour grapes out there ("it can't be fun rooting for a team that buys players!), but we all know it's bull----. It's fun to have a team that'll go out and get those guys when they're available to them. It's fun being in the playoffs every year. It's fun being a Yankees fan.

And all those whining fans of other teams would love it if their teams did the same thing, too.

Fletch Lives On?

Back in 2000 or so, Kevin Smith was signed to working on a third Fletch movie. And many rejoiced. 1. It was Smith not doing something involving Jay and Silent Bob (love 'em, but we need to see you do more, bud) and 2. He wasn't going to do a Chevy Chase-Fletch, he was going to do a Gregory McDonald-Fletch. See, the movie Fletch was based on very clever and well-written novel by the same name. And then for some insane reason, Chevy Chase was cast and it became...well, that movie. The two had about as much relationship to each other as the 60's Batman TV series and Batman Begins, or Pat Paulsen and Alan Keyes.

I encountered the "real" Irwin Maurice Fletcher in the novel Fletch, and then spent a few years hunting down and devouring the rest--am pretty sure that was my first "adult" mystery series (after graduating from Encyclopedia Brown, The Three Investigators, etc.)--no, wait, Gardner's Perry Mason novels were first. Close enough. I still re-read the books with a good deal of pleasure. That man can write wonderful dialogue.

It was a while before I could watch the movie--my father had a ban on Chevy Chase movies in his house at the time. Can't describe the disappointment with what the movie did to the book. But, it was insanely funny (if you didn't think of it as the same characters)--Fletch Lives less so.

So you can imagine my personal joy when I heard things like this from Smith:

We're going to do a real character with no disguises and s*** like that. Yeah. It will be close to (the book). I loved that book. I don't even think we're going to do a pass on the script. I'm just going to hand everyone the book and highlight the dialogue because it works perfectly.

and

We're going to stay very true to the book, as it has all the makings of a terrific story, and needs very little input from me....I actually learned to write dialogue by reading McDonald's 'Fletch' books. If you read his stuff, it reads like one of my screenplays. They're very dense with dialogue, and spartan in descriptive passages (just the way I like 'em).

and

So that's all there is to possibly know at this point. We're all pretty pleased about this very recent yet somehow familiar turn of events. Hopefully, when the flick's done, you'll dig it as much as you've dug the other flicks we've made. There's a certain personal, kharmic symmetry for me in making this flick, as the book is one of my all-time favorite things ever written, and there's a debt I feel I owe Mister McDonald as far as my own writing goes...The whole d*** affair couldn't be more perfect, to be honest.

But then the studio and Smith couldn't agree on Fletch. Smith wanted Jason Lee (this is before My Name is Earl, so nobody wanted to see Lee try to carry a movie), in fact Smith demanded it. And well....things didn't work out and Smith ends up off the project. I give up all hope of seeing Fletch anywhere but in my mind's eye, and forgot about this.

So this week, the Net's abuzz with the announcement that Bill Lawrence was tapped to take it over, speculation's running rampant that Zach Braff will be the man. Now Lawrence is clearly a fan, Scrubs has had at least one reference to JD and Turk loving to watch Fletch, and he's saying, "Not only can I recite the original 'Fletch' movie line for line, I actually read all the Greg Mcdonald books as a kid. Consider me obsessed, - I'm going to try as hard as I can not to screw this up." Promises promises...I sorta recall reading that Chase read all the books, too.

Now, Zach himself says

don't know yet. There are many things up in the air. Most important to me is directing my adaptation of "Open Hearts," which I had planned to shoot next summer...We'll see what happens. But for now, I am very happy for Bill, cause he is the perfect man for the job. Not only is he one of the funniest people I've ever met, but he is a die-hard Fletch fan.

So, who knows what's going to happen. But as a huge Gregory McDonald fan...I really, really wish they'd go back to the Kevin Smith/Jason Lee idea of a strict interpretation of Fletch Won. Bill Lawrence--with or without Zach (who I love)--is going to give us another film like Fletch Lives or Fletch and that's just a cryin' shame.

Valiant for Truth

Couple of weeks ago, we noted the anniversary of John Calvin's birth. Today, it's J. Gresham Machen's. He may not have the impact of Calvin--but his work is as important for the survival of Biblical Presbyterianism in this nation, as Calvin's was in helping to restore biblical truth.

On July 28, 1881 (that's 125 years ago for you who haven't had enough coffee to do the math), John Gresham Machen was born in Baltimore, Maryland. Machen was a brilliant Christian Scholar, Apologist, Political Figure and Writer from the early twentieth century. In 1923, he wrote his most popular and important book Christianity and Liberalism--Machen argued that there were two rival religions warring for control in the Protestant churches: Christianity and Liberalism were rival religions, not two sides of the same religion (you can read it online here). Sadly, the Church as a whole has yet to learn his lesson. His struggles in the Presbyterian Church to preserve orthodoxy and to battle the growing Liberalism eventually led to his expulsion. Machen and several other ministers formed what would become the Orthodox Presbyterian Church.

Henry Coray, one of Machen's students, and a minister in the OPC wrote:

What is it in Dr. Machen that stands out above everything else? . . . To me the answer does not lie in his scholarship, or in his teaching ability, or in his literary skill, great as these are. In my opinion the one feature about him that overshadows everything else is this: his burning passion to see the Lordship of Christ exercised in His church.

Some wise words from Machen (these are all random quotations, do not try to follow it as a sustained argument):

It is a great mistake to say that Christianity, as over against the old dispensation, was a "new religion"; indeed, it is a mistake to say that Christianity is a religion at all, among other religions. On the contrary, there is just one revealed religion, and the revelation that is at the basis of it is recorded in both the Old and New Testament. The Old Testament saints were saved in just the same way as that in which the New Testament saints are saved--namely, by the death of Christ--and the mans by which the Spirit of God applied to them the benefits of Christ's death was exactly the same as the means by which the same Spirit applies those benefits to Christians today--namely, faith. The Old Testament saints, like Christians today, received the gospel of the grace of God; and, like the New Testament saints, they received it by faith. The only difference is that the gospel was proclaimed to the Old Testament saints by way of promise, while to us it is proclaimed by way of narrative of what has already been done. Immediately after the Fall of man, the plan of God for salvation began to be executed--with the promise contained in Gen 3:15--and the men who are saved in accordance with that plan are not adherents of "a religion" among other religions; they are not men who have built upon a common human fund of "religion" certain special religions known as "Judaism" and "Christianity," but they are men to whom God has supernaturally revealed and supernaturally applied His saving work. That one revealed "religion" does not differ from the religions of mankind merely in degree; its supremacy does not consist even in being the one perfect religion as over against the imperfect ones; but it is different from the religions of mankind because, while they represent man's efforts to find God, this "religion" is built upon the sovereign and gracious and entirely unique act by which God found man and saved him from the guilt and power of sin.

But only the shallowest reading of the Epistles can possibly lead a man to think that the Apostle's appeal to the Old Testament was merely an argumentative device--useful in defeating the Judaizers but not valuable in the Apostle's own mind. Nothing could be further from the fact. As a matter of fact, to Paul as well as to our Lord Jesus Himself, the written Word of God was decisive in all controversy. People who make "the teachings of Christ" instead of the whole Bible the seat of authority in religion are doing despite to the teachings of Christ themselves; and people who make what they wrongly call "the living Spirit," in opposition to the written Word, an independent source of our knowledge of God are dong despite to that blessed Holy Spirit by whose gracious ministration the written Word has been given unto men. Let it never be forgotten that the real source of life for the Church is the holy Book; when the Church seeks life apart from the Book, as it is doing today, then it always faces, as it faces today, a terrible loss of power. If the Bible were rediscovered, as it was rediscovered at the time of the Reformation, we should have in the church today the same new life as that which then set the world aflame.

...the field of Christianity is the world. The Christian cannot be satisfied so long as any human activity is either opposed to Christianity or out of all connection with Christainty. Christianly must pervade not merely all nations, but also all of human thought. The Christian, therefore, cannot be indifferent to any branch of earnest human endeavor. It must all be brought into some relation to the gospel. It must be studied either in order to be demonstrated as false, or else in order to be made useful in advancing the kingdom of God. The kingdom must be advanced not merely extensively, but also intensively. The Church must seek to conquer not merely every man for Christ, but also the whole of man.

Instead of destroying the arts and science or being indifferent to them, let us cultivate them with all the enthusiasm of the veriest humanist, but at the same time consecrate them to the service of our God. Instead of stifling the pleasures afforded by the acquisition of knowledge or by the appreciation of what is beautiful, let us accept these pleasures as gifts of a heavenly Father. Instead of obliterating the distinction between the Kingdom and the world, or on the other hand withdrawing from the world into a sort of modernized intellectual monasticism, let us go forth joyfully, enthusiastically to make the world subject to God.

He wasn't afraid to speak out on social/political issues, for example:

Everywhere there rises before our eyes the specter of a society where security, if it is attained at all, will be attained at the expense of freedom, where the security that is attained will be the security of fed beasts in a stable, and where all the high aspirations of humanity will have been crushed by an all-powerful state.

and

I find there exactly the same evils that are rampant in the world--centralized education programs, the subservience of the church to the state, contempt for the rights of minorities, standardization of everything, suppression of intellectual adventure....I see more clearly than ever before that unless the gospel is true and there is another world, our souls are in prison. The gospel of Christ is a blessed relief from that sinful state of affairs commonly known as hundred per-cent Americanism.

While politics and culture were important, but, not as important as Christ.

To the sinner saved by grace how sweet a thing it is to contemplate the cross of Christ.

Even very imperfect and very weak faith is sufficient for salvation; salvation does not depend upon the strength of our faith, but it depends on Christ. When you want assurance of salvation, think not about your faith, but about the Person who is the object of your faith. . . . He will not desert those who are committed to Him, but will keep them safe both in this world and in that which is to come.

[Christ] "loved me and gave himself for me." There lies all the basis of the religion of Paul; there lies the basis of Christianity. . . . The religion of Paul was not found in a complex of ideas derived from Judaism or from paganism. It was founded upon the historical Jesus. But the historical Jesus upon whom it was founded was not the Jesus of modern reconstruction, but the Jesus of the whole New Testament and of the Christian faith; not a teacher who survived in the memory of His disciples, but the Saviour who after His redeeming work was done still lived and could still be loved.

I'd really recommend the following books about Machen:

• J. Gresham Machen: A Guided Tour of His Life and Work by Stephen J. Nichols
• J. Gresham Machen: A Silhouette by Henry Coray
• J. Gresham Machen: A Biographical Memoir by Ned B. Stonehouse
• Defending The Faith: J. Gresham Machen and the Crisis of Conservative Protestantism in Modern America by D. G. Hart

But better than that is reading the man himself:

• Notes on Galatians
• J. Gresham Machen's The Gospel and the Modern World
• The Christian View Of Man
• Christianity and Liberalism (if you want something to hold in your hands)
• God Transcendent
• New Testament: An Introduction To Its Literature And History
• Select Shorter Writings
• What Is Faith?--a personal fave

Lord, thank you for your gift of this man, the work you gave him to do, and the work that his words continue to do by your grace. Soli Deo Gloria.

(picture taken from Reformation Art--great products, btw!)

Summer Reading: Dead Beat by Jim Butcher

So the Offspring are out of stuff to read, and since I have to drop by my doctor's office anyway, we head off to the library. There's virtually nothing left on my "to read" list that isn't also on my "to buy as soon as I have the $" list--and the exceptions aren't owned by the library [sigh]. So I just start meandering (not a fun thing to do with 4 kidlets in tow).

I vaguely remembered reading something about The Dresden Files by Jim Butcher, and lo and behold, the library has the 7th in the series--Dead Beat. I try not to jump in so mid-stream, but figured it was worth a shot. Here's the set-up, Harry Dresden's a PI. Loner-type. Has a pal in the police department that feeds him some work. But he free-lances as well. Loose collection of friends who can help him out--Bob, who seems to have background on everything; his half-brother who's good for added muscle and to bounce ideas off of; Butters in the morgue; and so on. Typical hard-boiled PI novel stuff.

Oh...but there's a twist: Harry's a wizard, Bob's a talking skull, his brother's a vampire, and Butters is a one-man Polka band.

This was a great read, basically Harry Potter meets Elvis Cole. That's pretty much all I need to say. I loved it. Knocked it off in less than a day. Would've been better if I'd been able to start with the first book, but now I have a reason to make an effort to get it.

Characters were good, plot moved along alright, good mix of humor and action from the hero, and a satisfactory conclusion. Denouement could've been a bit longer for me. But that's what the next book is for, I guess.

Figured since I'd recently talked about how amazon could've done better than recommend Harris to me, I should point out that this had also been recommended to me by everyone's favorite internet store. So for this summer, they're batting .500

Grade: A. Solid effort, great twist on the genre.

Humbug

Did something this morning, I think I might have done one other time in the 845 posts preceding this...I removed a post. If you read it, I'd appreciate you deleting it from your short term memory.

This isn't supposed to be one of those blogs that launch strikes against anyone...I spout off about things I agree with/disagree with...but it's not supposed to be an inquisition about anything. And I honestly don't think I did that in the removed post. But it seemed to be a step in that direction. Sooooo **poof**.

In that post, I said I wanted a conversation with the person I was writing about...so why the frak didn't I just pop off an e-mail?

And since this is the 21st century, and everything has to be qualified a million times, I don't necessarily have anything against those blogs who spend a good deal of time throwing stones at others' computer screens. Just don't want to be part of one.

So, anyway, move along, nothing to see here. It's early, get a cup of coffee, listen to some music, read FoxTrot...have a nice day.

eh...could be worse...could be Ken Jennings.

State of the Blog 'n stuff

Few miscellaneous notes about White Noise:

• Have generally positive news on The Biopsy...more on Monday.
• I realize that the Summer Reading posts aren't terribly interesting (at least not comment-worthy), but I'm really enjoying the discipline of forcing myself to write something on every book I read. So, for those who dread seeing those lines...sorry. Get a helmet.
• You'll notice I placed a radio.blog over on the side there. Give it a try. Odd sort of music selection, basically it's stuff I listened to far too much in college. Had only intended to put 1 song per band, but caught "Bad Indigestion" out of the corner of my eye when I was looking for "Scenic Routes" and just had to add it. Will play around with the playlists from time to time. Lemme know what you think.
• Putting that together was the first time I'd listened to anything other than Teddy Geiger or KT Tunstall on a weekday since I got the CD's. Not saying that they're great art (I'll pause for a moment while some of you chuckle at the notion that pop music can be considered any kind of art......), but they're fun.
• Just drank my first Coke Blak. (sorry, don't know how to make that line over the "a") Tasty. Don't think I'd make it a regular part of my beverage roster, but it could make a tasty utility player. Best way I can describe it is imagine eating a Coffee Nip while drinking a Coke (and you don't have to worry about your teeth being pulled out by the Nip!)--with twice the caffeine!

Casablanca

I liked Hugh Laurie's The Gun Seller so much, thought I'd give a sample to encourage you to pick up the book. Also, just thought it was entertaining enough on it's own to be worth the while. It definitely belongs in the, "if I ever got around to writing fiction again, this is what I'd want to sound like" file.

Don't go to Casablanca expecting it to be like the film.

In fact, if you're not too busy, and your schedule allows it, don't go to Casablanca at all.

People often refer to Nigeria and its neighbouring coastal states as the armpit of Africa; which is unfair, because the people, culture, landscape, and beer of that part of the world are, in my experience, first rate. However, it is true that when you look at a map, through half-closed eyes, in a darkened room, in the middle of a game of What Does That Bit Of Coastline Remind You Of, you might find yourself saying yes, all right, Nigeria does have a vaguely armpitty kind of shape to it.

Bad luck Nigeria.

But if Nigeria is the armpit, Morocco is the shoulder. And if Morocco is the shoulder, Casablanca is a large, red, unsightly spot on that shoulder, of the kind that appears on the actual morning of the day that you and your intended have decided to head for the beach. The sort of spot that chafes painfully against your bra strap or braces, depending on your gender preference, and makes you promise that from no on you're definitely going to eat more fresh vegetables.

Casablanca is fat, sprawling, and industrial; a city of concrete-dust and diesel fumes, where sunlight seems to bleach out colour, instead of pouring it in. It hasn't a sight worth seeing, unless half-a-million poor people struggling to stay alive in a shanty-town warren of cardboard and corrugated iron is what makes you want to pack a bag and jump on a plane. As far as I know, it hasn't even got a museum.

You may be getting the idea that I don't like Casablanca. You may be feeling that I'm trying to talk you out of it, or make your mind up for you; but it really isn't my place to do that. It's just that, if you're anything like me--and your entire life has been spent watching the door of whatever bar, café, pub, hotel, or dentist's surgery you happen to be sitting in, in the hope that Ingrid Bergman will come wafting through in a cream frock, and look straight at you, and blush, and heave her bosom about the place in a way that says thank God, life does have some meaning after all--if any of that strikes a chord with you, then Casablanca is going to be a big [bleep] disappointment.

Best Vent Ever!

(from HotAir.com)

Summer Reading: Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris

Unless you're as blind as a bat, not very observant, or have never visited amazon.com. you know that one of their biggest and oldest features is the recommendations. Based on a few of my purchases/ratings, amazon has been telling me to read the Southern Vampire Mysteries by Charlaine Harris. Bored, not wanting to spend money on a couple of books I really want to read, I decide to grab one from the library. Thankfully, they had the large-print version of the first in the series, Dead Until Dark.

The protagonist/narrator is Sookie Stackhouse. Sookie's your typical young southern lady, lives with her grandmother, likes a quiet life, has a good-hearted-yet-wild brother who needs to settle down, works as a cocktail waitress...oh yeah, and she's a telepath. Like I said, typical. She lives in a small Louisiana town filled with antebellum homes and all the people she's known her entire life.

Things change when a vampire comes into her bar. For one thing, she can't read his mind--not having to exert the effort to not read his mind is quite the treat for her.

Vampire? Yeah, a vampires. In this world, Vampires had recently become a legally-protected minority, still struggling for social acceptance (think the Newcomers in Alien Nation).

This particular vampire's name is Bill Compton (name's not exactly up there with Lestat or Armand...or even Angel, Drusilla, Spike), a veteran of The War Between the States with a kind heart (or something like that). Sookie and Bill hit it off, become friends, he spends time with her TWBtS buff grandmother, delighting her with eye-witness accounts. We also get to meet some other vampires...not the fine-upstanding citizens like Bill (who's "mainstreamed"), but creepy, murderous, fiends.

Enter the plot-complication. A series of vampire-related murders. Is it Bill? Is it a Vampire that Bill knows/brought into the community? Is it someone else in Sookie's life? While they stumble their way to discovering the murderer, Sookie and Bill fall in love, deal with social stigmas (from both of their cultures), and have a narrow escape or two.

This was an okay, light read. Sookie's charming, sweet, not too neurotic (was afraid I was in for a second-rate Bridget Jones with a twist). I wouldn't mind reading what happens to the couple next, but I'm not rushing out to grab it (contra Solomon vs. Lord/Thin Blue Alibi). Give it a try if you're desperate for something new.

Grade: C+ not really a triumph for amazon's personality test.

Summer Reading: The Gun Seller by Hugh Laurie

Imagine that you have to break someone's arm.

Right or Left, doesn't matter. The point is that you have to break it, because if you don't...well that doesn't matter either. Let's just say that bad things will happen if you don't.

Now, my question goes like this: do you break the arm quickly--snap, whoops, sorry, let me help you with that improvised splint--or do you drag the whole business out for a good eight minutes, every now and then increasing the pressure in the tiniest of increments, until the pain becomes pink and green and hot and cold and altogether howlingly unbearable?

Well exactly. Of course. The right thing to do, the only thing to do, is to get it over with as quickly as possible. Break the arm, ply the brandy, be a good citizen. There can be no other answer.

Unless.

Unless unless unless. What if you were to hate the person on the other end of the arm? I mean really, really hate them.

This was a thing I now had to consider.

I say now, meaning then, meaning the moment I am describing; the moment fractionally, oh so bloody fractionally, before my wrist reached the back of my neck and my left humerus broke into at least two, very possibly more, floppily joined-together pieces.

So begins Hugh Laurie's The Gun Seller. Of course, Laurie is best known to the world as Blackadder's Georges (the nasty German Prince Ludwig in Blackadder II, the spoiled Prince George in Blackadder III, the bumbling Lt. the Honorable George Colhurst St. Barleigh in Blackadder Goes Forth, etc.); Bertie Wooster; the tall crook (Jasper) in 101 Dalmatians; Stuart Little's Dad; The Gentleman on the Plane who has to listen to Rachel blather on; and Dr. Gregory House (among many, many other roles). Okay, so he can act--but can he write? That very question kept me from buying the book years ago when I first saw it. Finally took the plunge thanks to the local library. The answer is: Yes. Maybe he's better at the latter. In fact, once House, M.D. finishes it's 10th and final year, maybe he should take a break from acting and write more--just to appease me.

This is one entertaining book. Very funny. And what else would you expect of a global-ranging book about terrorism, the weapons industry, and the role of government; involving the CIA, the British Ministry of Defense, a terror cell, multinational corporations, conspiracy nuts, and, naturally, an art gallery. Stumbling through it all is Thomas Lang, a former Scots Guards officer turned general ne'er do well, trying not to become an international terrorist.

I remember going through the Director's Commentary to The Whole Nine Yards, and he said something like how they could've easily used the same script (only changing a couple of words) and made it into a very noir movie instead of the comedy it was--changing the lighting, the score, the cuts...little things. This book is very much the same. It would've been very easy for this to be a Robert Ludlum clone--the plot, most of the characters (if not all), the settings, etc. We've seen them all a million times before. But the way Laurie narrates the events prevents that from happening. Instead, it becomes charming, droll, and occasionally, laugh-out-loud funny.

He does this fairly seamlessly. In lesser hands (say, Dan Brown's), this would be jarring, jumping back and forth between comedy and suspense. But I don't think Laurie hit an off-note once. In a matter of pages you read a very graphic torture scene, a line like: "There's an undeniable pleasure in stepping into an open-top sports car driven by a beautiful woman. It feels like you're climbing into a metaphor"; a description of a complicated espionage set-up, and then a paragraph like:

Somewhere a clock ticked. Quite fast. Too fast, it seemed to me, to be counting seconds. But then this was an American building, and maybe Americans had decided that seconds were just too [bleep] slow, and how's about a clock that can do a minute in twenty seconds?

That's not to say you're laughing at a grisly murder or anything--in fact, violence is depicted in such a way that it highlights the depravity, the bleakness, the pointlessness of it all. It's the people, the settings, the non-life ending events that are treated with a light touch.

Ricky felt a lot worse about himself at this moment; most probably because he'd managed to get himself into one of those situations where you're naked in the cellar of a strange building, in a strange country, with strangers staring at you, some of whom have obviously been hurting you for awhile, and others of whom are just waiting to take their turn. Flickering across the back of Ricky's mind, I knew, were images from a thousand films, in which the hero, trussed-up in the same predicament, throws back his head with an insolent sneer and tells his tormentors to go screw themselves. And Ricky had sat in the dark, along with millions of other teenage boys, and duly absorbed the lesson that this is how men are supposed to behave in adversity. They endure, first of all; then they avenge.

...Ricky had neglected to notice the important advantages that these celluloid gods had over him. In fact, there really is only one advantage, but it is a very important one. The advantage is that films aren't real. Honestly. They're not.

In real life, and I'm sorry if I'm shattering some deeply cherished illusions here, men in Ricky's situation don't' tell anyone to go and screw themselves. They don't sneer insolently they don't spit in anyone's eye, and they certainly, definitely, categorically don't free themselves in a single bound. What they actually do is stand stock still, and shiver, and cry, and beg, literally beg, for their mother. Their nose runs, their legs shake, and they whimper. That is what men, all men, are like, and that is what real life is like.

Sorry, but there it is.

Thomas Lang begins the novel seemingly care-free. A man unattached from friends, job, love...anything but himself. He seemingly as a moral core, but runs from the question, "Are you a good man?" As the novel develops, and the stakes get higher and whatnot. The ironic detachment transforms into commitment to people, to right and wrong. While there are "trigger points" to this transformation, where it takes a significant leap forward--the gradualness to Lang's growth belies Laurie's experience in fiction.

The Gun Seller was published in '96, and thanks to the events of the past few years, the views on terrorism espoused by Lang, the MOD, the CIA, etc. are a bit dated. And that's really the worst thing I can say.

Grade: A. Bonus points because one of his chapter's epigraphs is from John Owen, my favorite puritan.

OPC Justification Report -- Updated

The Report of the Committee to Study the Doctrine of Justification presented to the 73rd Gneral Assembly of the Orthodox Presbyterian Church in on the OPC's website.

UPDATE: I posted this Saturday without comment, because, well, look at the other post. Anyway, I regretted that. Pastor Polymathis linked to the report with a comment, one I heartily second, so I figure you can head over to his blog and get the necessary wisdom.

Am planning on printing out a handful of reports to bring to church this week, save some eyes from reading on the screen...

Confused about Net Neutrality?

I sure was, until I watched this handy little report on The Daily Show last week. Thankfully, a fellow citizen put on youtube, so you, too can be enlightened. (warning: some ribald humor)

(worth watching just for the "what kind of computer would you be?" bit)



You're now informed! Call/Write/Email your Congressmen today!

Semi-Live Blogging: My Liver Biopsy

(based on notes made yesterday...not so anal that I did this during the process, but hey, been awhile w/o a real post)

8:30: show up for registration (a few minutes early). Nice guy, very friendly, gets me processed pretty quickly (esp. compared to other local hospitals). Here's the problem, big outpatient registration area. In the corner of which is a nice looking coffee shop. You know the kind--mini-Starbucks wanna be. Lots of fresh brewed coffee smells, some bakery-type aromas wafting all over. This is just cruel. Given the large amount of outpatient procedures that require fasting, in particular mine, for them to have decided to put this particular establishment in that proximity of the registration area must be a violation of something in the Geneva Convention.

8:45-9:00: Wait in the Radiology waiting room. Scribbler looks for enough magazines to last the day (hadn't found any at the store the night before...not like she didn't try to come prepared). After awhile someone calls, "Mr. Newton?" I say, "Yes." (clever repartee today). Someone behind the counter semi-nods and then nothing. 2 minutes later someone else calls my name and actually has a follow-up. It's time to go.

9:00: Taken down to some room in radiology, there's a bed, couple of chair, room for another bed, and a small desk. I get to take a seat on the bed, Scribbler gets a chair, I get to start answering questions about why I'm there, here's what's going to happen, etc. The nurse hands me a hospital gown and a remote to a large, flatscreen TV I hadn't really noticed on the wall, she'll be back in a bit. I flip around a little, dodging most Morning TV fare--stop on FoxNews long enough to make sure that Palestine isn't a giant hole--and settle on Project X on AMC. (not sure how that Matthew Broderick flick qualifies as a "classic", but eh, looked good on the flatscreen). Nurse comes back, asks some questions, tells me I'm going to get an IV and a blood test I had done a couple weeks ago (supposedly so they wouldn't have to do it again). I point that out, she shuffles off to find the results. I watch more Project X, get bored, and flip around some more. Watch some of one of the last gasps of The Practice (basically when it was just a trailer for Boston Legal)--Viola Davis was the defendant du jour--showing the same kind of chops that made me like her so much in the Jesse Stone movies. Nurse comes back, she has the test results, so only has to take a little blood. Spends a bit too much time watching the end of The Practice.

10:10--my viewing of last week's Monk is interrupted by them coming to take me down to the Ultrasound room. Ya-hoo. Introduced to a technician, who re-explains the process to me, and then gets a preliminary ultrasound of my liver area. Pretty sure she bruised a couple of ribs in the process. My vital stats are taken again (record low blood pressures for me...yay!). She calls the Doctor who'll be doing the process, and we wait a bit for her to come down. The nurses in charge of tracking my vitals shuffle a bit, and the Doc shows up. Very pleasant lady, but quite business like. Explains that today's a lot like Thanksgiving--lots and lots of preparation, and then "chop, chop--it's done!" And then as an afterthought, "Except, we won't be chopping you."

She explains once more what's going to happen, I nod as if this is all new to me and I really appreciate the explanation. She tells me the sound of the biopsy will be the worst, like a mouse trap going off. She has the tech get the needle ready so she can demonstrate. I make a point of not looking at it. She activates the clipping part, "ssssssCK" Sounding more like a mousetrap in the next room than one 5 feet away. I find that reassuring.

The doctor grabs the ultrasound wand and looks around a little herself, decides that she won't have to go through the ribcage, but can probably do fine just going underneath. Somewhere in all this, she tells me that if they don't get enough tissue the first time, they'll go in again--usually 2 or 3 passes is enough. 2 or 3? Yipe! Then she goes about getting the area all sterilized and whatnot. Scribbler looks on, taking it all in, joking with the staff, etc.

10:50-ish: She lays out the instruments. The tech asks if she wants the 10 cm or 14 cm needle. She opts for the 10. Again, I don't look. She administers a shot of local anesthesia. Stings a bit. She administers another shot. Says we're ready.

11:00: Strange pushing sensation, very focused pressure and then ssssssssssCK! Not too bad. They look at the sample (Scribbler, too). Decide it's big enough, put it in whatever container you put that sort of thing in. Doctor pats my shoulder, tells me that should do it, and she leaves.

11:03: YYYOW! Who snuck in with an invisible baseball bat and whacked my ribs and shoulder?!?! Oh man! *#*&$#(*&@#!!!!!! Wow this hurts! This really, really hurts! Stomach's doing all sorts of strange and semi-painful things. Ribs and shoulder throb, the pain pulsating through all points in-between. They decide to get me some morphine. That idea is okay with me. Turns out you have to fill out a lot of paperwork before you can give someone some morphine. I'm really surpsrised how much this hurts, Scribbler points out that they did just remove a chunk of an organ, makes sense that it would hurt. Good point. Why didn't I think of that earlier?

11:07: Get the shot. Feel very hot, little tingly. Not sure that my shoulder or ribs or stomach notice.

11:10: They wheel me down to my recovery room...and because they didn't get a bed from them earlier for me to have the procedure on, I have to switch beds. Doesn't sound that bad, am willing to get up and move. But oh, no, can't have me stand. They get my bed right next to the new one and instruct me to slide over. Do you know how much you use your ribs when you slide/wiggle from one bed to the next? OWOWOWOWOW. Why couldn't I just stay in this radiology bed? OWOWOW.

11:20: Morphine's not doing enough, this bed switch has set everything into overdrive. Recovery Nurse asks if I want something else for the pain, "okay." She didn't figured I'd mind. I get a shot of Demerol as a chaser. They lay me on my side--gravity + weight of my internal organs will serve to apply pressure on my wound and help it develop a clot. At least there's something to distract me from the agony. This is a Catholic hospital (as are pretty much all of them 'round here), and so there's a crucifix in every room. For some reason, in this room, it's right where the light switch should be. So, I'm staring at Jesus, his feet nailed to the cross, but his hands are held up in blessing, rather than being nailed down (not going to try to figure out the theological ramifications of that). My iconoclastic reflexes do help me not think about the pain for a moment. (note to self: ask for a Protestant room next time).

11:40: Except for the occasional twinge when I breathe too deeply, and a dull ache for the shoulder/rib combo, things are okay. Hooray for Modern Medicine^®!!!!

Of course, Modern Medicine^® got me in this situation. Hmmm...should probably call it a draw.

The rest of the afternoon really isn't that interesting--spent sipping water and watching Scrubs DVDs on my laptop until 5. No signs of internal bleeding, so I'm cleared to go. Hopefully have test results by Wednesday or so.

30 Years Ago Today: #755

July 20, 1976, the greatest home run hitter of them all, Hank Aaron, hit his last.

Read MLB.com's story here.

Summer Reading: Thin Blue Alibi by Paul Levine

So I come back from GA, and not only had my wife finished Solomon vs. Lord on my recommendation--but she'd procured and finished the sequel. However, she warned "It's not as good." Only slightly daunted I dived in (no pun intended). She was right. But that's not to say the book isn't good, it is. But it doesn't feel as fresh--that's the nature of sequels. When I finished the book, I uttered a Nero Wolfean "Satisfactory."

2 main story lines, and a few nice subplots to keep things interesting. Plot number 1: Victoria's "Uncle" Griff (her dad's old business partner) runs his yacht onto shore in the Keys--conveniently enough, he almost kills Victoria and Steve in the process, but at least they're the first on the scene to discover that Griff's passenger has a spear through his chest, so they can get to lawyerin' as soon as possible.

Plot number 2: Victoria wants to split the firm up--get out on her own, so she's not standing in Steve's shadow. She's not looking to split from him personally, but there are subconscious undertones in that direction.

Plot 2 is further complicated by Uncle Griff's son, her first love, childhood friend, etc. who she hasn't seen in years is back on the scene. And is a total hunk. And rich. And not a frequently uncouth jerk.

Some of the supporting cast from the last book wasn't around, which is good, I think. But those present were still a pleasant addition. The cameo by (and several references to) a certain salt-shaker seeking musician was a nice touch. The mystery was craftier than last time, and I think the plotting was a little better. But the latter are secondary to me--esp in this kind of book. It's about the characters--do I like them? Do I want to spend time with them? And for almost everyone in this book, it's yes. I spent about half the book really not liking Victoria...seemed like a prissy little brat with a healthy dose of finicky on the side. By the end of the novel, I'd come around again, but that left a bad taste in my mouth.

Here's my major complaint. Plot line #2. I never, not for one second, thought that Victoria would split up the team or the couple. So that entire thing was an endurance test "how much longer do I have to put up with this?" Contrast that compare/contrast to Kenzie and Gennaro in Lehane's books--or even Spenser and Susan in The Widening Gyre and Valediction. Sure, those aren't comic novels (esp. Lehane's), but there was real risk of loss, there was real pain, real conflict. I think Levine is capable of putting these two in a situation where I could worry about them--but this wasn't it.

That said, I'd give the first installment an A and this a B+. Well worth the time and money (or trip to the library). Looking forward to #3 in the series in a month--thanks Gerald, for the tip.

Workin' for a Livin'

I'm taking what they're giving
Cause I'm working for a living

Applied to 4 places last week...one of which decided not to fill the position. Got 2 interviews off of that. Either way you count it, 2 out of 3 or 4--best results I've ever gotten.

Interview went "eh-okay" on Monday night. But am thinking the bar isn't set too high, as long as you're willing to do the work. Was offered that job...and really, really don't want to do it.

The interview today, went very well. It was at the end of a job fair, and I'm pretty sure the trainer and manager doing the interviews were worn out and a little punchy. We chatted, we joked, and they all but offered me the job in 15 minutes (but had to get approval from someone higher up). Am barely home 15 minutes when they do call to offer me a job. Afterwards, I thought of a possible complication due to the hours they might want me to work and the location they want me at. Will check on it tomorrow at the orientation.

If it's too major a complication, I take the job I don't want. If it's not, I stay and become an official Video Store Clerk.

ahhh, it's like the Mother Ship is calling me home....

(bonus points for first one to name that reference in the comments section)

Tryin' Something New

Have much on my plate, so, naturally during The Dividing Line today I played with things around here a bit....what do you think?

just 'cuz it sounds so cute

just give it a quick listen

Clean Up

Cleaned up the sidebars...got rid of some blogs that hadn't updated in awhile (or for other, more significant, reasons), updated links/names of some others, etc. If I should have you listed and for some reason (I plead temporary insanity), I don't--I'm a long lost buddy, you link to me, and I'm rude enough not to repay the favor, you want to pay me to link to you and send my 6 readers your way, whatever.... Sorry. Lemme know and I'll fix it.

Sin & Sinfulness

Over the last few months I've been involved in a handful of conversations about sin in regenerate and unregenerate man via email, blogs and that old-fashioned thing called..."talking." (I know, I should be more technological and use the phone or something). Anywho, I read this a few days ago, and thought that it did a real good job of summing up the Biblical teaching on the subject, and figured I'd throw it up here to help some of these conversations continue in a profitable fashion (or, y'know not continue, but provide food for thought or whatever)

from: Are Five Points Enough? The Ten Points of Calvinism by Leonard J. Coppes

The first thing we should examine is the differences and relationship between sin and sinfulness. Sin has to do with the acts of men while sinfulness has to do with man's nature. Hence, the Christian whose sinful nature (the old nature) is destroyed (II Cor. 5:17) can still commit sins (I Jn. 1:9) because he still has sinful habits and inclinations (Rom. 7:20,21). Under this idea man is conceived as a violator of God's Law. Sin is known/identified not by man's thinking or feeling but by what God declares in His Word. Sin is man's violation of God's covenant.

Sinfulness, on the other hand, describes unregenerate man's rebellious nature. It is that which distinguishes man from God as a righteous being. God is all-righteous. He loves and seeks only righteousness. Everything that unregenerate man does or thinks is undergirded by rebellious inclinations against God or motivations that are sinful. He is a sinner and violates God's law because he is bound by that sinful nature inherited from Adam (Rom. 5:12). He neither loves nor seeks after God nor His Law (Rom. 3:10ff).

Regenerate man, however, is a sinner who violates God's law because his sanctification is imperfect. He loves and pursues obedience to Divine law but fins himself unable to attain perfect obedience. Sinfulness, the old Adamic nature with its enslavement to sin (Rom. 8:12-15) and its mind set on flesh (Rom 8:6,7), however, is dead.

God's demand for repentance refers both to sin and sinfulness. Since sin is against God's covenant He demands our repentance form and restitution for that sin. Ultimately, however, repentance has reference to sinfulness. man's heart needs to be changed. Divine honor needs to be fully restored. The entire created relationship between God and man needs to be recreated. Man's innermost inclinations and motivations need to be turned around so that he will only seek to obey God's commandments and to be as holy as God is. Indeed, he must become as holy as God is (I Pet. 1:13-16).