What the ... ?

When I got in this morning I had an email waiting for me from my wife, subject line simply saying, "WHAT?" And then there was some nonsense about Johnny Damon signing with the Yankees. I was unusually tired, so I didn't bother to go to snopes.com and show she'd fallen for some Internet hoax. Puh-leez. The guy's on record (May of this year, in fact).

But no. Johnny Damon is...(oh this is hard to type)...a...a...(be strong, you can say this) a Yankee.

The man has no arm. How is this an improvement over Bernie? Better at offense. We don't need offense...we need defense! You know, getting the ball from the outfield to the men on base quickly...that kind of thing.

This is a bad move. This is a stupid move. Sure, there's a little "in your face" action for the RS Nation (how'd they become a nation anyway? 1 lousy championship in decades and they're a nation??? Oh wait...the Yankees have an Empire. Never mind) This is all about George, his ego and his checkbook. Sorry Joe, sorry Cash. I know, I just know you weren't behind this. I trust you can pick make some lemonade from this lemon.

Okay, okay, he's a great lead-off hitter. Jeter's great at moving guys over a base. So that's going to make things interesting at the top of the order. Good 1-2 combo. I will not complain about that. But fielding...you gotta be kidding me!

First response at a Yankee messageboard I read from time to time, "Dear *** Noooooo" followed shortly by "It's better than a five year deal" (only four). My favorite response, "instead of 'We're just a bunch of idiots.' he will have to say 'We are just a bunch of consummate professionals.'"

And it's not just Yankee fans saying this, Joy of Sox says:

New York is paying for what Damon was, not what he will be. There can be no doubt that his four years in Boston will turn out to be far more productive than his four in the Bronx.

Damon's the original Idiot, the hirsute anti-Yankee who drilled the grand slam to ice Game 7. Yankee fans hate this guy. Now they have to pretend to like him, just like they're doing with Randy Johnson.

Red Sox Chick opines:

He's a great lead-off hitter. No argument there. But that is pretty much it. Everything else is either bad or annoying and yet the Red Sox fans embraced him. I have a feeling the same won't happen in New York.... Not the team. I mean it's a little lousy for the team...but I'm not worried in that regard. They'll find a centerfielder who can actually throw the ball to the infield.

IMPORTANT NOTE: I got the links to these blogs from my wife's blog. I do not consult these on a regular basis.

Here's what bugs me the most, a few quotes from the new acquisition:

They were coming after me aggressively. We know George Steinbrenner's reputation. [Yeah, heard you say that back in May when discussing your pending Free Agent status. You said you knew they'd come hard and with money and you essentially said "doesn't matter, never gonna happen"]He always wants to have the best players. He showed that tonight. [You arrogant punk!]He and Brian Cashman came after me hard. Now I'm part of the Yankees and that great lineup. We're going to be tough to beat.["We"? "We"? Slow down, kemo sabe. Not sure it's "we" yet. You know how long it took Roger to earn his 'stripes? Took A-Rod longer (some say he hasn't earned 'em yet!) You have no fans in NY. Watch the pronouns, cowboy]

and

Our policy with the Yankees is to go out and win, and we're going to try to bring another championship to them. They haven't had a championship since Chuck Knoblauch was there when they had a great leadoff hitter so I think the leadoff role has been underappreciated. A good leadoff hitter is tough to find and I think New York just found the best leadoff hitter in the game.[Nice bit of analysis re: Knobby--you probably had to pay someone for it, or Cashman told you that little fact. But that kind of pride and aggrandizement belongs in the WWF, not in Yankee stadium. You're a pretty good player amongst some great ones--and in the shadow of greater. Shut up and go tend to your hair-do, caveman]

Ah well, at least I got to read this in a Boston Globe column this morning.

So now your Boston Red Sox have no center fielder, no shortstop, and no first baseman to go along with no Theo Epstein and no clue. It's fair to say this is becoming a winter of discontent in Red Sox Nation. Ben and Jed and Craig and Larry and Tom and John and Crosby, Stills & Nash can spin this anyway they want, but Sox fans can't escape the conclusion that there's chaos at the top. The Josh Beckett trade bought some goodwill and glad tidings, but losing Damon to the Yankees is a devastating blow to the foundation of the Nation.

The Sox won't recover from this one easily. In an already dismal offseason, they've now lost their center fielder and their leadoff hitter. They've also lost a local icon, a rare favorite of teenage girls and fanboy bloggers. Losing Damon hurts them on the field and in the arena of popular opinion. And losing Damon to the Yankees compounds the damage. When Alex Rodriguez got away a couple of years ago, Sox fans were fairly quick to scorn A-Rod and move forward.

Losing Damon won't draw the same reaction. The Idiot center fielder is Johnny Angel with Sox fans and his production in pinstripes will be a personal affront to Red Sox fans around the world.

Schadenfreude may not be nice, but it can be fun.

Prediction: We will get 1-2 good years out of him, and then we'll be right back where we were with Bernie in '04 and '05. The A-Rod deal was over the top (and so far, not really that effective). The Johnson deal was dumb (see this post-season and June-July). This deal was wrong.