The movie with a title so long, you'd think a Puritan wrote it

With an all-star cast depicting the last days of one of the more colorful figures in U.S. History, odds are, you're going to end up with a good movie. Andrew Dominik's The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford is a textbook example that sure things aren't.

Or let me put it another way...if you've ever wondered how Young Guns II would've been if Kevin Costner had directed it...this is the film for you.

The actors did what they could with what they were given. Brad Pitt does a decent job, but is largely wasted. Mary-Louise Parker spends far too much of her limited screen-time as window-dressing. Sam Rockwell only gets to really stretch his legs for a few minutes, but, again, largely wasted. About the only actor who really gets to shine is James Carville (James Carville?). Casey Affleck, whose task it is to carry the film, tries but the weight is too much for someone of his stature. Try as they might, lemonade is out of the question--the best these pros can do with these lemons is make some ReaLemon.

The film is an interminable, meandering, would-be epic that looks gorgeous but in the end, just made me glad I got an extra 2 hour nap today.