Taking Stock

(which is easy to do when you're largely unsuccessful, and moreso every year)

For the last 13 or so years, I've had a pretty clear vocational goal (and had been leaning that way for 6 or so years before that), and had slowly been working toward that goal--sometimes faster than other times, but always with that goal in mind.

Well, that goal is gone now, and I don't have the foggiest idea what to put in its place--at least not realistically.

I can't stay where I am for too long--not that I have anything against the place, bu this is a grunt-level gig, with commensurate pay and practically zero chance of advancement.

I had a rough idea about something that would get me a step or two closer to having a career, and had an appointment Monday to talk to someone about step one in implementing that. A minor family crisis prevented me from making that meeting, but in the research to prepare for that meeting, I came across a disturbing figure. To get the certificate I was showing for (and then the jobs that certified me for), I'd need to clock 6,000 hours of supervised work after meeting the educational requirements. 6,000 hrs! That's 37.5 months at 40 hrs. a week--and no one I know in the field (those who are certified already) gets 40 hrs a week, so no chance of a grunt getting that time in easily. And again, that certificate was just going to be step one...mostly a way of financing steps two and beyond. But I'm just not sure I'm willing to wait 3+ years after 2-3 of education to complete step one. Doesn't seem prudent at this juncture (read that in a Dana Carvey Bush voice).

So that sorta puts me back at the drawing board (not that I can draw, as my tenure in the architectural drafting field attests). I just got done looking at some graduate programs, and there's one or two options there that might work--next fall. Early August is not the time to try to find your way into grad school. Leaving me feeling all elevated and anhydrous.

Do not get me wrong--I love being a homeschooling dad, and am more than willing to continue to sacrifice career, vocational fulfillment, or whatever, to make sure my little quiver gets the best education I can give. But at some point, sooner rather than later, I'd like to get out of the 1 Tim 5:8 area, I'm not really comfortable falling into the "worse than an unbeliever" category. It's one thing to work entry level stuff in your mid-30s when you've got a lofty goal, it's another if you're not the next Kevin Smith, Quentin Tarantino or Great American Novelist just waiting for their big break.

I just wish I knew what to do.

Not sure if I have a point to this, just getting things off my chest and giving ya'll an update on my so-called life.

Bewilderedly and bemusedly yours,
Hob