Blog, Interrupted

Sorry, kletois, I was trying to get something posted yesterday, really. But I sorta got distracted. About 4 or so, started having this sharp pain in my chest. It wouldn't go away, didn't seem to be made worse or better by anything I did. After a half-hour or so, got annoyed enough I went to WebMd to play with their "Symptom Checker," which was a waste of time. Because they only have one result for chest pain..."seek medical attention immediately."

How's that helpful?

St. Luke's Symptom Checker was no better. "Call 911."

Again, not helpful.

I want to know what might be going on. Want to know how concerned I should be. And I want to reach these conclusions by playing "House: The Home Game." First I try for Lupus, then come up with some sort of infection, finally settling on something more pedestrian--and bring myself to the verge of death at least twice in the process. The level of my sarcastic remarks is directly proportionate to the level of my pain (yes, the more it hurts, the funnier I get--really). But I don't get to play today, Apparently, I'm supposed to be"very" concerned about whatever it might be that's going on--and never mind the details. [sigh] Just no fun at all.

Well, St. Luke's is just about 4 miles away, so I leave work and check into the ER...excuse me, ED, is what they're calling it now (can't imagine who thought that acronym was a good idea...maybe they're getting underwriting from Pfizer). Anyway, they whisk me into a room, slap on the EKG pads and whatnot, got the ol' IV in, and things get rolling. Sort of.

It was typical ER stuff...lotta hustle and then nothing. Eventually, the doctor came in and told me that my EKG was fine but he was worried about maybe a clot in my lungs (not sure why a bad EKG sounded like a better option to me than that) or something else (not sure what the something else was...I'd drifted off for a few minutes before he came in and was still groggy), so they were going to run some more tests before they decided whether they kick me or keep me around.

It's not too long after that before TLomL joins me in the doing nothing (but making me feel so much better). TVLand finished showing the 80's comedies that had been keeping me company. So I switch to the news, where we are told every 45 seconds that the governor of New York hasn't resigned, but they'll let us know when he does--or decides to. Occasionally, they'll mention Obama's primary win, or the latest scandal with the Clinton campaign. It's enough to make me want to walk out (why couldn't I have done this on or after Opening Day [12 days from today--yee-haw!] so I'd at least be able to watch ESPN?), but I don't--just in case the louse does decide to resign. Or was it because TLomL was there and probably would've arranged to have me sedated if I tried?

The doctor finally returns, probably no clot--tho' it can take a few more hours before the enzymes start to show up on a blood test, so no promises. No mention of the other thing, so I still don't know what it was. My choices are: get checked into the Chest Pain Center, which will mean I'm there for at least 10 hours, while they monitor me and hope the pain goes away; or go home and hope the pain goes away. I opt to go home for three main reasons: 1. Saving thousands of dollars; 2. More comfortable for me and the Mrs., 3. There's food at home. (if it was 1 or 3 alone, I'd have decided on home, honestly--put the two of those together and it's a slam-dunk). So 20 minutes and 30 NY Gubernatorial updates later, we're outta there.

The pain does go away--sometime during my 5-hour late morning/afternoon nap. Have been getting the occasional momentary twinge just to remind me that it was around. So what was going on? Beats me, as the doc said when he was discharging me: "Sometimes with chest pains, we just don't know where they come from or if they mean anything." There are times when I think I'd be happier if they slapped on a leech and sent me home.

One of these days, they'd better find something. I can't afford to keep calling wolf. Since Sept. 06 I've been to the ER 4 times on heart-related issues. Each time, I've come home empty handed. Pretty soon, the villagers are gonna stop coming out to protect the flock of sheep.

So that's all just to say why I didn't get around to talking about The Wire, American Idol, and some books I've been reading lately.