late night meanderings

just put the littlest one down again, he woke up screaming for some reason, seemed pretty scared. It's pretty annoying, but when I stop and think about the way things were a year go, it's reassuring to have a dopey little old nightmare to deal with.

It was a year ago yesterday that we brought the Kidney Kid in for a follow-up at 3 days old...between this, that and the other, he was admitted to the hospital. They did some tests, and found the kidney issue. Kept him in the hospital for days. First night my wife had to just sit there and watch him in a UV bed...couldn't hold him or anything. Not sure if that was harder on her going through it, or me watching her.

As I blogged a bit last year, it was a tough few days, but the prayers of the saints and the work of the Spirit kept us standing. I remember that on Sunday, I was supposed to exhort from Ephesians 4:17-24 and try as I might, I just couldn't come up with anything to say. So I pulled up a sermon by Jeremiah Burroughs, "Christ is All in All," made a few tweaks to the language and read that. I was assured by others that it was beneficial to them, which was a nice bonus, it was about the only thing keeping me from despair.

A few things he said:

Is Christ all in all? Then if we have an interest in Him, it should satisfy and content us though we have nothing or though we are nothing. Why? Because if we have Christ we have all. Though you lack parts, friends, estates, outward comforts, know Christ is to be your all, and is He not enough? As He said, Am I not better to thee than ten sons? So Christ says to the soul, "What do you lack? You lack this comfort and the other comfort, but am I not all in all to you, and better than all?" Yea, be willing to be made nothing, for all is made up in Christ.

With what mighty intention of spirit should the heart be put forth towards Jesus Christ in all things! Though God gives you an estate and honor in the world, if you have not Christ you have nothing. You have not that which makes way for you to eternity. Therefore, do not be satisfied with anything without Christ. As Abraham said, What wilt Thou give me Lord, seeing I go childless? So you say, "Lord, You have given me a portion in this world. You have given me credit and reputation among men, but, Lord, what is all this to me if I go Christless and do not have Him that is the conveyance of grace to my soul, Him that is all in all? Oh, Lord, You have taught me this day that such is the distance and breach between You and me that, unless it is made up through a Mediator, I must eternally perish. Therefore, give me Christ, whatever else You deny me."

Do not satisfy yourselves with anything without Christ! Many hypocrites satisfy themselves with gifts. If they have gifts, then they are contented. Consider that parable in Matt.13:45-46, "Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking beautiful pearls, who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had and bought it. Now gifts and parts and other achievements are these goodly pearls, but Christ is the Pearl of price. Therefore, whatever you have, be willing to part with it for Him. If God has revealed to you the Pearl of price, let no [earthly] pearls satisfy you. Many souls perish eternally because they are satisfied with [earthly] pearls and do not endeavor to obtain this Pearl of price. In your seeking God, be sure to take Christ along with you.

What a joy it was this morning to look out and see him in worship, squirming enough to drive his mother crazy, smiling at those around him...trying to play with them when they needed to be paying attention. And then tonight I was able to sit and listen to my fellow elder while playing with him (hopefully we didn't get too loud)--he was in a playful mood, and it helped me stay awake (not a reflection on my brother's work, but on my sleep level). As John said in his prayer tonight, already this little guy's had a ministry in the church--we've been able to see God's mercy, God's providence in getting--and keeping--him healthy, to go beyond what any one predicted, and far beyond what we all feared a mere year ago.

God has certainly been gracious in giving him life, and I pray that one day, he'll give this tyke spiritual life as well. Beyond that, no matter how I love this little one, I pray that God would remind me that it's Christ who's all in all, and it's in him alone I can find comfort, assurance, and strength.