Moving Oratory

Samwise stood for election today as his 6th grade class president, along with three other candidates. We don't yet know the results, which is driving him crazy--and depending on how distracted he gets over the weekend, could end up driving us all crazy. Being new to the school, he is at a disadvantage compared to the competition (tho' it could pay off, I guess), but he had fun.

To keep the playing field level, there was no campaigning allowed (that's my assumption about the rationale at least), just name recognition and a single speech today. Here's the text:

My Campaign Speech

First of all, I'd like to thank you all for your time. I'd also like to say thanks to Mrs. ----- for putting this together.

7 score and 7 years ago, Abraham Lincoln gave a speech. A lot of other people have given speeches at many other dates and times. I will be like them today, speechwise.

Now, there have been some problems in class.

1. Talking.
   
2. Disruption of the class.
   

And I have solutions to those problems. For talking, I have 2.

1. You would get additional punishments, along with the Tigger Bucks fine. So, like, if someone was talking they'd put $20 on their desk AND lose a recess or something .
2. The people who aren't talking get rewarded.

Now, for disruption. I'd STRONGLY suggest a refocus form or something.

So, um, yeah, um,.............I'm going blank here...............OH! That's right! Adios, mis amigos!

Or “That's all folks!” or something. I don't know. Well, ok, I'm done.

He had no help composing that speech, and even did the math to figure out how many score (he even knew the date off the top of his head). Honestly, I know when I was in 6th grade, I probably couldn't have written that second paragraph, and would've killed (well, poked savagely at any rate) to be able to. Consider me proud.