The Day Every Parent Dreams Of...

...before they wake screaming.

I took my son to the orthodontist for an initial consultation today. Ahhh, the memories we'll cherish.

First off, I should say that all the staff were very friendly, very pleased to see us in their office, and gave an overall impression that this was a great place to be. Now I know that many companies strive for their employees to act that way amongst customers/clients (esp. prospective ones), but I got the impression that these people were genuinely excited about orthodontics. Which is pretty scary.

Even the waiting room was interesting--the tasteful photographs on the wall were enough to make the subconscious open to the idea of braces--a shot of the Statue of Liberty under construction (or the remodel in the 80's) surrounded by scaffolding, another of a suspension bridge being built. Which at least gave us grounds of an impromptu lesson in bridge construction (Frodo was convinced the guys in the picture were doing it backwards).

So we go back and get all sorts of X-rays and close-up pictures of his teeth, the shape of his mouth and whatnot--several using oddly shaped pieces of hard plastic to pull his lips out of the way (and man, I wish I could've been taking pictures of that to use as blackmail)--and a couple involving mirrors, of all things. After which, the doctor did the typical poking and prodding thing, using a light so bright I halfway think Frodo wished he was struck blind before being exposed to.

Then, rather than talking to us there at the chair, we were taken back into this tiny little office for a description of what was going on. I'm not exactly sure why--it's not like there's a great need to protect our privacy, every other patient/parent in the place knew what we were there for--the same thing as them. Anyway, we're shown those photos just taken, highlighting the several areas of concern/problems. The main issue is that he has 4 deciduous teeth (if he were younger, he'd feel okay with me calling them 'baby teeth') that have no permanent replacements growing beneath them--and 2 of those are starting to cause some big problems--so gets to have them removed (oh, the fun never stops!). Then they'll work on moving things around so those gaps are filled, and start to align things to correct his "deep bite." "Deep" being a polite euphemism for "overbite so bad he might as well be drawn by Matt Groening.

But the good news was that he doesn't want to start this right away--for one thing, we have to have those extractions, and then there are a couple more deciduous teeth that need to come out on their own, etc. So we'll get a checkup or two and then probably start this whole process in earnest in a year and a half or so.

And just as I start to think about that time frame and feel a sense of relief (on Frodo's behalf), he adds, "Which is good, that'll give you time to go home and start saving your pennies--because this one's going to cost you."

That's right, the orthodontist thinks this is gonna be expensive.

Anyone have a rich, dying uncle to spare?